ben edmunds

The Craft Dash 5k

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(Lauren Prince “ess” and her superpowered zebra spandex pants)

This past Saturday I participated in the annual Craft Dash, against my better judgement.
The Craft Dash is like a race and a pub crawl rolled into one unholy alliance. Hosted by
Saraveza and The Hop & Vine, people dash from one bar to the next, downing a beer from a different local brewery at each location. In total, it is a 5k run and all proceeds went to benefit the Open Meadow Alternative School. Runners take the race in various degrees of seriousness, with guys dressing in drag, wearing beer helmets, keg outfits, cardboard boxes, fake mustaches, etc.

Kicking off at The Hop & Vine at 9am, we all had a Lucky Lab Recession Lager. Now, for those of you who read my posts, you might notice 5am is about my average bedtime. We had to be at Saraveza before 9am. Also, those who know me know that I drink too much beer and have gotten out of shape. But I used to be an athlete, and recently decided that I need to get back into working out, so I forced myself to join this race. Besides, what could I lose, other than my dignity?



At about 8am I met up with Lauren Prince -“ess” at her place on Mississippi to head over to the bar. She was wearing her hot spandex zebra pants that made me crack up laughing on sight. Nevertheless, I was starting to have a bad feeling that she was taking this race far more seriously than I. A bad omen.
We ran late and missed the MAX to the Hop & Vine, so we were forced to bike. While biking, my very expensive Ray Bans sunglasses fell off my shirt and were crushed underneath my bike wheel. This did not bode well for the day, but I vowed to carry on…


Upon arriving at The Hop & Vine, we saw a packed crowd filling the patio and were pleased to see a small assortment of noted beer geeks, including Ben Edmunds (New School columnist, Oregon Beer Odyssey co-founder, and Breakside Brewing brewer) and his crew. Also the Taplister team of Kerry “Fratboy” Finsand and his lovely wife Josie “Jedi” Finsand, along with Ken “The Bear” Baer. Also there was a rare sighting of occasional beer reviewer Andrew “GD Founder” Self, aka @agshender on twitter.

(Yetta Vorobik owner of The Hop & Vine motivates the runners)

After receiving our t-shirts and picking up our beers Hop & Vine, owner Yetta Vorobik made a speech, basically telling us not to be pussies and to start running for a good cause. Thinking I would get a leg up, I downed my beer fast and was the first out the door with 100 or so people trailing behind. The next stop was Saraveza, and I was all like “oh this will be easy, it is just a few blocks” but no, the organizers re-routed us an extremely long way around to get to Saraveza. With my spirit crushed by this revelation I quickly slowed down to my race strategy of jog 1 block and then walk 1 block.


(Ben Edmunds and Joey/Rob of Oregon Beer Odyssey knock back the first Breakside brew)

I still made it to Saraveza ahead of most of the pack, though the Oregon Beer Odyssey crew, Lauren and Kerry all passed me up. Those bastards.
At Saraveza we enjoyed the first ever release of a
Breakside Brewing beer, the Craft Dash Wheat. It’s an estery Hefeweizen that I heard many remark hit the spot.
At this point I lost my groove. I took off with a brisk walk from Saraveza to the longest leg of the crawl over to
Lompoc’s 5th Quadrant. Little did I know that Kerry and Lauren had ditched us and decided to make this a real competition.

(the crowd lines up to get into Saraveza for Breakside’s Craft Dash Wheat beer)

After finally arriving to 5th Quadrant exhausted and officially done with running, I downed a beer and a pint of water. The running and beer was beginning to result in some serious sloshing and indigestion. Regardless, I was determined not to fall behind the pack.


(runners stretch and celebrate on the 2nd to last leg of the run at Lompoc 5th Quadrants patio)

Soldiering on, I finally made it to the last stop, Amnesia Brewing, in the midst of the Mississippi Street Fair. When I got there, I realized Kerry and Lauren had left us in the dust.

(Showing off my guns after finishing the Craft Dash)

Still I am relatively proud of myself for not being even close to the last runner to finish. As Ben Edmunds remarked, I may be the fittest beer blogger in town. I will take that honor, even if that is not saying much.



Yetta and Sara Pederson of Saraveza then announced the winners of the Craft Dash. I did not even know there were winners! Shocking and disappointing as it may seem, Kerry “Fratboy” Finsand actually won the race and Lauren Prince “ess” was the first female to cross the finish line.
Let us just say I was shocked and dismayed by these results. I think some performance enhancing drugs were used.


(Lauren shows off her winnings)

Still, it was cool to see so many local beer people who drink 4 or 5 pints a day are still fit enough to run a 5k, and even place in the top 5. Of course, if there was not beer involved, none of us would have made it. Next year I promise to make a comeback and place top 5!


(Kerry Finsand is pleased with his Craft Dash win)

Founder of The New School and most frequent contributor Ezra Johnson-Greenough has worked in the craft beer industry for almost 10 years, doing everything from illustrating beer labels to bartending at renowned beer bars and breweries like Belmont Station, Apex, Laurelwood and Upright Brewing. He has also had a hand in creating events like the Portland Fruit Beer Festival, Portland Beer Week, and the Brewing up Cocktails series. He is available for freelance consultation in marketing, events, graphic design and branding. Contact: [email protected]

5 Comments

  1. Brian

    July 11, 2010 at 1:57 pm

    You should look into doing Beer Miles. Similar to this race, but just 1 mile. 4 Laps around the track, starting with a beer, lap, beer, lap, etc. Just try to keep it all down (a lot harder than it sounds).

  2. Bill Night

    July 12, 2010 at 4:27 pm

    You make it sound so fun: “sloshing and indigestion”.

    That’s awesome that Kerry and Lauren won.

  3. ElGordo

    July 12, 2010 at 4:42 pm

    You forgot the most important part of the report: what was the level of projectile vomiting? We used to do the 40 Ounce Dash when I was a student at Reed. Run from the library up the hill to the Woodstock Safeway, buy a 40oz of PBR, and run back down. Whoever got back to the library and finished their 40 first won. Good god, there was some record-breaking hurling that took place.

  4. Anonymous

    July 12, 2010 at 8:31 pm

    You forgot to mention the part about dropping and breaking the glass out on the sidewalk at Amnesia!

  5. Samurai Artist

    July 12, 2010 at 8:47 pm

    Anon,
    That wsasnt me, that was some other dude who looks just like me

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