2013 Beer Geek Holiday Gift Guide Part 2 of 3

Christmas is just around the corner ,and yet the 2nd of 3 gift guides for the beer geek has just arrived. Banking on the fact that you guys are just as big of procrastinators as I am, the timing of this second edition is perfect. Featuring everything from beautiful handmade sterling hop necklaces, rustic lighted beer marquee signs,a self frothing mug, and tools that will both repair your bike and open a beer, make it easier for you to shower with a cold one, plan a beer tour. In case you missed part 1, you can check it outhere.

Vintage Metal BEER Lighted Marquee
Proclaim your love of beer brightly with this hand made sign made from rusted recycled vintage metal. At 22 inches wide and 11.75 high it comes in two styles of text–block or western–and can be propped up on a shelf or hung from metal hooks on the back. The sign uses clear 5 watt light bulbs and has a 5 foot white cord. This item can take your man cave up a level, or make a great focal piece for your living room or business. Not too spendy at just $129 on Etsy.

Hop Flower Necklace
This hop cone necklace is the perfect gift for that beer-inclined special someone in your life. The hop flower is made of lead-free pewter, the chain from gunmetal, and the grouping of Swarovski crystals represents the Lovibond/SRM beer color rainbow. The handmade necklace is just short of 18 inches long, including a metal clasp. Available in his and hers designs. $47.06 – $58.82

Ringtool – The World’s Most Compact Multi-tool
This might be the most useful and affordable gift in the series this year. The ringtool can unlock and screw everything from your adjustable bike seat to furniture assemblies, plus it easily fits on your keychain and makes a great bottle opener. Made of hardened stainless steel, it’s both sturdy and light (appx 1oz). Ringtool features:

-Bottle-cap opener
-3mm Hexhead
-4mm Hexhead
-5mm Hexhead
-6mm Hexhead
-8mm Hexhead
-Flathead Driver
-Phillips Driver
-Torxhead T25 Driver
-Spoke wrench for 130” (3.30mm) nipples
-Spoke wrench for .136” (3.45mm) nipples
(nipples vary greatly between manufacturers, so the fit may not be perfect)

$29.99 and guaranteed delivery before Christmas at https://www.trycelery.com/shop/ringtool

Shakoolie Shower Beer
I don’t know about you, but I cannot count how many times I have tried to bring a beer into the shower, but then had nowhere to put it down! Between swigs you need to have hands free to lather yourself up in suds from time to time, and that’s where the Shakoolie comes in. First you attach a “launch pad” to your shower wall that velcro attaches the special Shakoolie can coozie. The makers “strive for that top-notch shower beer experience every time”. Just $9.99 each or $28.99 for a 3-pack at Shakoolie.

PortaKeg – Portable Draft Beer System
Ever rue the day you picked up a keg for a big party only to realize you need a hand pump, a keg bucket, ice, and some way to easily transport the heavy shell? Enter the PortaKeg, which I sincerely hope catches on and would make a great rental item. It basically serves as an igloo cooler for your keg keeping it cold and putting it on wheels with a pull-out handle for pushing or pulling it around. It also comes equipped with a C02 regulator and a gas tank so that you can serve proper draft beer from the built in tap. This is definitely worth investing in if you do many outdoor events. The PortaKeg is customizeable with colors and logos that can be added. The basic model is $649 from http://www.portabeer.com/

The United States of Beer Map
The new heavy matte stock gold lettered poster from the folks behind 33 Beers makes a terrific gift for the completist or traveling beer geek. Like the 33 Beers books, there is a flavor wheel and some stat lines to fill out for a beer from every state, not to mention the serving vessel and style guidelines. Having this baby proudly displayed on your wall is also a great conversation starter. Only $30 from 33Books.com

The Beer Bra
This gives a whole new meaning to padding your bra. It’s both bust-enhancing and a terrific way to transport beer under cover. According to the website “This comfortable sports-style bra contains a special boob-enhancing polyurethane bladder that can be filled with your drink of choice.” Although, I am not sure how fun it will be to sip warm beer while watching your cup size slowly shrink along with your sobriety. Only $29.95 on Amazon

Self-Frothing Beer Mug
There are only two good uses for the self-frothing beer mug, but they are both doozies. #1 is if you are incapable of pouring a decent head on your beer or believe beer is always better with a huge, frothy head. This mug does it in an instant. #2, though, is that this apparently really impresses your Asian friends and relatives (see video.) The gimmick value alone makes this mug priceless, but the less important actual value is just $35 from Japan Trend Shop.

GrOpener: efficient one-handed bottle opener.
Why do you need a one handed bottle opener? Maybe you need a hand free for a game of beer pong, to throw a frisbee, or while watching internet porno. The possibilities are endless.

But seriously, watch the video, this little item is pretty slick in ease of use, plus it keeps the caps flat and not bent, in case you’re saving them for a beer cap bartop or something. $16 each and available in a variety of colors here.

Stay tuned for the final part 3 of 3 of this years Beer Geek Gift Guide series next Monday. Or view Part 1 here.

Samurai Artist
Samurai Artist

Founder of The New School and most frequent contributor Ezra Johnson-Greenough has worked in the craft beer industry for almost 10 years, doing everything from illustrating beer labels to bartending at renowned beer bars and breweries like Belmont Station, Apex, Laurelwood and Upright Brewing. He has also had a hand in creating events like the Portland Fruit Beer Festival, Portland Beer Week, and the Brewing up Cocktails series. He is available for freelance consultation in marketing, events, graphic design and branding. Contact: SamuraiArtist@NewSchoolBeer.com


  • Anonymous
    Mon Dec 16, 2013 8:49 PM

    shameful photoshopping on that Beer Bra…