2014 Beer Geek Holiday Gift Guide Part 3


The Knockout: Get a buzz and get high at the same time

The third and final chapter in our annual 2014 Beer Geek Holiday Gift Guide is here and features everything from the latest in dual pot smoking and beer bonging activities to handmade brewery wallets, hop earrings, beer flavored lollipops, lights, and bike and beer accessories. In case you missed it, check out the Beer Geek Gift Guide part 1 and the Serious Homebrewers Gift Guide.


Mindy’s Beer Gear: Wallets, Messenger Bags, Pendants, Purses & more

A friend of The New School, Mindy has been making awesome wallets and purses from beer labels and packaging for years. I have been carrying her vinyl insulated Upright Brewing beer label wallets for the last 3 years. Now Mindy has branched out into pendants, messenger bags, dog collars, head bands, and women’s purses. She has also expanded from using local brewery upcycled material to incorporating materials from popular breweries from across the country, including Ninkasi, Odell, and Flying Dog. Items are affordable and ship within 24 hours, so there is plenty of time to get one before Christmas.

The Knockout: Beer Bong & More

Possibly the most versatile gadget profiled this year is also the most ridiculously must-have item for the day marijuana becomes legal in Oregon. A combination beer bong, water bong, and gravity bong, it takes chugging suds and blazing grass to a whole new level. As the creators recommend, try the namesake “The Knockout” method, which they call “the demon spawn of a beer bong and a gravity bong.” Yes, this device is even endorsed by Snoop Dogg and is available for pre-order for only $30.


Bike Handlebar Smartphone holder and bottle opener

If you’re reading this, then chances are you ride a bike and drink beer. The likelihood increases exponentially if you live in Portland, and thus the Handleband is a must-have. Its primary use is as a bike handlebar mount for your smartphone. but it also does double duty with a convenient bottle opener.


Beer Cyclist T-Shirt

While we are on the subject of cycling, beer swilling hipsters, I present to you this T-shirt depicting what might be the encyclopedic image that should be attached with a cycling beer swilling hipster. It’s so very Portlandia and is available for just $19.95–unfortunately only in Mens sizes and olive color right now.


B Is for Beer: A Grown-Up Book for Children

Yes, it’s a children’s book about beer and it’s by bestselling author Tom Robbins. Both a real story about the magic of children, intruders from another world, and–indeed–the true meaning behind beer and how it makes the world go round, it’s both serious and humorous. Instill in your children respect for beer from an early age, and it gives you a great excuse to be enjoying a beer while reading bedtime stories to your kids!


Beer Hops Earrings

I have always found earrings to be a sure-fire gift for a woman, and if you’re lucky enough to know one who loves beer, this is a great way to show your appreciation of both. Hand-formed polymer clay shaped into a hop cone with a cut green crystal atop each cone and hung off of gold-plated hypoallergenic surgical steel ear wires. Handmade and only $27 on Etsy.


BUILT Neoprene 6 Pack Bottle Tote,Red

Have you ever been lugging a 6-pack of beer only to have a bottle fall out the bottom or a handle rip off? Maybe you just have a backpack full of glass and the bouncing against each other causes one to shatter; it’s happened to me. This awesome 6-pack tote made out of neoprene–the same material used for wetsuits–will keep the beer cool for up to 4 hours. The pockets are stretchable for either 12 or 22oz bottles, and the whole tote is washing machine safe. Keep your babies safe with the six pack tote.


33_BOTTLES_BEER_COVER_1024x102433 Beers and United States of Beer Tasting Map

Portland local Dave Selden has built his 33 Books empire on the success of the original 33 Beers tasting notebook and has since expanded it to include books for Cider, Whiskey, Win,e and more. Lately they have started doing worldwide tasting posters perfect for those interested in beer travel or just trying beers from across the world. If you know someone not into beer, check out the website to find many options, even maps for tasting scotch across Scotland or the wines of France. That said, there is always room for the original 33 Beers book in anyone’s stocking. Check out 33Books.com for the full selection.

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Beer Lollipops: IPA, Stout, & Lager Flavors

From the strange hipster folks at lollyphile.com come beer flavored lollipops to go along with their tea, spirit and cocktail flavored lollipops. These IPA, Stout, and Lager flavored pops will make for great stocking stuffers or the smoker’s equivalent of a smoking patch to ween your alcoholic ass off of the real thing. Available in mix packs!


Soapstone Hop Keeps Your Beer Bubbly

Here’s an odd but cool addition. Not unlike the popular whiskey cubes, this hop shaped stone is dropped into a pint to create a longer lasting, continually effervescent and bubbly beer. The soapstone is a soft rock regarded as food stable that contributes no aroma or flavor, but does incite bubbles in carbonated beverages. Apparently the makers claim you can even drop it in a flat beer to create a full head. It is reusable, washable, and can even be frozen to keep the beer cold.


Remake It! Bottle Lamp

So the pictured bottle lamp here is pretty lame, but the beauty of this product is you can pull out those shitty non-descript bottles and fill this bottle lamp with your favorite beers. If you’re purchasing this as a gift, you can easily switch out the bottles and replace it with the giftee’s favorite bottles, and then you even get credit for some of your own customizing.

Samurai Artist
Samurai Artist

Founder of The New School and most frequent contributor Ezra Johnson-Greenough has worked in the craft beer industry for almost 10 years, doing everything from illustrating beer labels to bartending at renowned beer bars and breweries like Belmont Station, Apex, Laurelwood and Upright Brewing. He has also had a hand in creating events like the Portland Fruit Beer Festival, Portland Beer Week, and the Brewing up Cocktails series. He is available for freelance consultation in marketing, events, graphic design and branding. Contact: SamuraiArtist@NewSchoolBeer.com